I'd like thoughts from anyone who'd like to offer them:
I was on a crowded bus last week. A woman nearby with a small child began harshly scolding the child, and finally snarled at the child, "I'm gonna punch you in your face" right before she did just that. The woman then became belligerent at a couple of passengers nearby who dared to speak up--"Go ahead. Call the cops." I didn't have a cell phone with me, but even if I had and if I'd called 911, I doubt that anyone could have tracked down this woman and child. I got off the bus shortly after the verbal abuse she gave to the other passengers.
I was furious with myself for being so helpless. But I saw how much good it did for people to speak up. In fact, it occurred to me that confronting this woman might cause her to take out her fury on her child again later on. I'll never forget the look on the face of the child (about three years old), the striken look of betrayal and hurt at the mother. I've been haunted by this incident.
Several Autism advocates started threatening me as well as jumping to defend Dr Nick Dubin saying he was conducting research. (How does sitting at home watching child porn for two years help you research anything?) I published their names and even found photographs of these individuals.
One of them is now stalking me, threatening me, and attempting to accuse me of rape.
The other thread on bullying by family members, plus something I have been contemplating on my own for the last few weeks, has got me thinking about this.
I finally got an official diagnosis of AS last week. I'm 34 years old, and AS was not an official diagnosis until I had already graduated High School (1994). It had made me look back and wonder whether being diagnosed as a teenager would had helped the bullying in my family cease, become worse, or have no impact at all on it.
It's hard for me to make any conclusion about my own childhood. On one hand, it would have been irrefutable proof that no, I wasn't being troublesome or difficult on purpose, and no, I can't be normal. On the other hand, I could have been singled out and treated worse because of my diagnosis.
So, I'm curious to hear from those who were bullied or abused by family members and did not have a diagnosis or were not aware they were even on the spectrum...looking back in your own childhoods, speculating for a bit, would any knoweldge or diagnosis have made your situation better, worse, or no change?
So I am graduating in 2 weeks (actually less-5/8/2010 to be exact) from college with my 4-year Bac. degree, which took me over a decade to get. My mom just now informs me that my younger brother isn't coming, because he needs the money and is choosing to work that day instead. I think there are other reasons why he doesn't want to come. He is my only sibling.
My mom who is widowed (my dad passed away when I was 16) and lives alone (I live about 1/2 hour drive away) is giving me a hard time about me not helping her with a community garage sale a few blocks away. I don't want to because she can be a toxic person to be around (she has mental illness and many medical problems), and can't hear what I say since her hearing has been compromised the last couple of years. I feel like I can't talk to her without yelling all the time, and I have hypersensitive hearing. She doesn't have money for a hearing aid, and Medicare and Medicaid don't cover one.
There is a Aspergers Womens Support Group that just started in Tallahassee, Fl. The first meeting we decided to meet again and bring resources we had each found on AS in Women. (There were three of us) I am reading Tony Attwoods “A Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome”. One of the first topics covered was Bullying.
RamponRampage's posts about her mother is a good example of being bullied by a family member. In school, my older NT sister was the bully. Making fun of how I looked, telling all her friends about my “disgusting” personal habits, etc. It was very humiliating. At home, my AS father bullied my AS mother and his two daughters; telling his wife to “Shut up” in front of us, calling his girls stupid, etc.
I trying to get more information on Bullying as at relates to women on the spectrum for the support group. Would anyone else be willing to share examples of “Bullying”? (by family members or others)
I couldn't find any other place to post this. It is a rant though, so if it belongs somewhere else, please move it there.
There is this woman who has unknowingly invaded my world. I typically lurk most places until a topic comes up that I want to discuss. There are parents lists, and ASD lists, and support lists I'm a part of. Each has it's own general purpose in my life as it's difficult to combine them all into one location.
This woman first showed up on a local parent list. She wouldn't sign her name to anything and started spouting how everyone needs to do one thing or another with their Autistic children. Finally a parent got fed up and asked her to start signing her name and then asked what authority she had telling parents what to do with their own children. She basically said that because she was diagnosed with AS she knew better than they did what they should be doing for the kids. I finally piped up and told her that just because something worked for her didn't mean it applied to all Autistic people. And shortly there after she stopped posting on that list.