I'm Cinder, I'm 45 and I slowly figured out I was on the Spectrum after getting to know several autistic women and learning about the work of researchers like Shana Nichols and Michelle Garcia Winner.

I'm a lot of things - I'm poly (two husbands), pagan, two-spirit (I feel I'm both male and female inside), a geek, a "professional sick person" (CFIDS/ME, chronic migraines, fibro-like chronic pain, asthma, back pain (in and out of a wheelchair), food, medical & environmental sensitivies, been on SSDI for 10 years now).  I'm most proud of being a parent - my daughter is 20/Aspie, the boys who are 21 & 19 (who joined our family while in HS, the older has FAS, the younger is Aspie/ADHD, both came from an environment of neglect and abuse).   I'm also a sibling - my younger brother is autistic, deaf, nonverbal, severely mentally challenged and I raised him more than my parents did.  I've been advocating for 12 years (even cofounded a local nonprofit) but I'm taking a break because I'm burned out, because too many people in my inner circle have died recently and because my health really sucks right now.

I love turtles, dinosaurs, model trains, Pokemon, my dog who thinks he is a person, and coming up with crazy ideas.

I'm here because I need some solidarity in my life.  I feel like everything I understood to be true about friendship was wrong.  That hurts as much as people dying.   I don't really know any other Aspie moms with Aspie kids and I'm curious.   I want to get my life on track again, I want to figure out how to deal with all this grieving and get to where I'm less bitter about people.  I have spent most of my life helping others, I need to figure out how to help me.