Not new to autism, but rethinking my life
I'm Cinder, I'm 45 and I slowly figured out I was on the Spectrum after getting to know several autistic women and learning about the work of researchers like Shana Nichols and Michelle Garcia Winner.
I'm a lot of things - I'm poly (two husbands), pagan, two-spirit (I feel I'm both male and female inside), a geek, a "professional sick person" (CFIDS/ME, chronic migraines, fibro-like chronic pain, asthma, back pain (in and out of a wheelchair), food, medical & environmental sensitivies, been on SSDI for 10 years now). I'm most proud of being a parent - my daughter is 20/Aspie, the boys who are 21 & 19 (who joined our family while in HS, the older has FAS, the younger is Aspie/ADHD, both came from an environment of neglect and abuse). I'm also a sibling - my younger brother is autistic, deaf, nonverbal, severely mentally challenged and I raised him more than my parents did. I've been advocating for 12 years (even cofounded a local nonprofit) but I'm taking a break because I'm burned out, because too many people in my inner circle have died recently and because my health really sucks right now.
I love turtles, dinosaurs, model trains, Pokemon, my dog who thinks he is a person, and coming up with crazy ideas.
I'm here because I need some solidarity in my life. I feel like everything I understood to be true about friendship was wrong. That hurts as much as people dying. I don't really know any other Aspie moms with Aspie kids and I'm curious. I want to get my life on track again, I want to figure out how to deal with all this grieving and get to where I'm less bitter about people. I have spent most of my life helping others, I need to figure out how to help me.
Hi Cinder, it's nice to me you, and welcome to AWN. I am 47, on the spectrum, and I have a son (almost 20) on the autism spectrum as well.
I'm very sorry to hear you're grieving. We have several different discussion boards here at AWN, so if you'd like to start a topic regarding any of the things you talked about, please feel free to do so.
I like what you said about figuring out how to help yourself after a lifetime of helping others. That is important!