I was wondering what other women think about this.

I do have meltdowns, though from what I read in the forums, I don't think I'm plagued with them as severely as some other Aspies.  Whenever I read or hear about meltdowns and Asperger's, the author/speaker always speaks of them in terms of how our (Aspies') brains are wired as the cause of the meltdowns.  I'm thinking that might not be entirely true.

I say this because I had an aunt, no longer living, who was born profoundly deaf.  I was acquainted with the deaf community, and I learned from them, and from life with my aunt, that deaf people are notorious for blistering meltdowns.  I used to know a woman who was in charge of concessions and the cafeteria at Gallaudet College, a college for the deaf in the U.S. I remember her telling me that the tab there for repairing and replacing vending machines was steep.  If a student inserted money and nothing came out, they would vent their full fury on the vending machine.  

The explanation I always heard accounting for this wasn't that deaf people's brains were wired for meltdowns.  That couldn't have been it, because the causes of their deafness weren't always genetic.  The explanation given was that being deaf is a hard life.  The deaf have to navigate the majority hearing population, which doesn't accommodate them.  They have to learn to make themselves understood with a language they don't know, and there is pressure on them to learn to read lips, and to speak, also.  Living under that degree of stress every waking moment puts them under a lot of strain, so when something seemingly minor to the rest of us happens, like a malfunctioning vending machine, it's cause for a meltdown for a deaf person.

I'm thinking that this might be partly what goes on with Aspies.  It's a hard life--not to the degree that being deaf is, but read the comments here.  Aspies are under more strain than most NTs are.  We don't really speak the NT language, and no one gives us a phrase book so that we can translate on the spot.  And there are sensory issues to deal with, too.  It takes a toll on our emotional and mental stamina because we're under constant stress, so like deaf people, something that seems minor to an NT can send us into a tailspin.

I know that I work on controlling when I have meltdowns.  I bear up the best I can with conflicts when others are involved, in social situations, and in public.  But when I'm at home alone and no one can hear, some small thing happens, and that's when I have a meltdown.  I'm screaming, ranting, and throwing things around, and I've got a mouth that could peel paint off the walls.  That's when I let myself snap.  Something has to give somewhere.

Does anyone else have any thoughts?